


9 Months of Mustard

by RunWithWolves



Series: 25 Days of Sweetheart [5]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, married, pregnant Laura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 10:37:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunWithWolves/pseuds/RunWithWolves
Summary: Laura eats a lot of strange and unhealthy food combinations but Carmilla gets a little concerned when her wife develops a sudden all-consuming craving for mustard. As Laura puts it on everything from pickles to ice cream, Carmilla briefly wonders if she's been hit with some kind of mustard curse from some god they accidentally annoyed.The reality is so much better.





	9 Months of Mustard

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you may remember parts of this from 2 separate tumblr posts I wrote in marchish of 2017. They fit so well together that i decided to combine them and then round them out with 2 additional pieces plus a few tweaks here and there :)

“Carm?” Carmilla glanced up from her book to find Laura standing in front of the refrigerator like it held the secrets of the world, “Do we have any mustard?”

“Bottom shelf of the door,” she said then buried herself back in her book. 

A happy hum confirmed Laura’s success.

Moments later, there was a warmth at her side and Carmilla moved instinctively to let Laura snuggle into her side. What she wasn’t expecting was the smell that hit her nose. “What are you eating?”

Laura offered her the tupperware, “Pickles and mustard.”

So that was new.

“That’s sounds disgusting,” Carmilla said.

Laura shrugged, “I don’t know. I just wanted it. It’s actually really really good.” She shoved a yellow coated pickle in Carmilla’s face, “Want one.”

“I’ll pass.”

“More for me then!”

Even with the smell of pickle lingering in the air, it was cute when Laura fell asleep on her shoulder.

It was less cute when the mustard made an appearance on the dinner table and Laura slathered her mashed potatoes in it. 

Carmilla paused, fork halfway to her mouth, and just watched as the entire plate disappeared under mustard. “You feeling okay, cupcake?”

The last thing she needed was her wife to die of mustard poisoning right before their 3 year anniversary.

“Perfect,” Laura frowned like this question made no sense, “Why are you asking?”

“You’re sure?” Carmilla pressed.

Laura ate another forkful of mustard covered potatoes, “I was nauseous for like five minutes this morning but I feel fine now.”

Carmilla held in any further comments on the mustard as Laura launched into a story about chasing down her latest lead. She held them in when the mustard was spread on toast at breakfast. They were held in for two solid days. They all came spilling out when she saw Laura using mustard like chocolate sauce on a bowl of ice cream.

“Laura,” Carmilla plunked down on the stool beside her at the counter, “Why are you eating mustard with every single meal.” She frowned and reached out to touch Laura’s head, “Did you go poking into something supernatural again?”

Laura swatted her hand away,”No. We had a deal about that after the whole Norse gods thing during the wedding rehearsal.”

“So the sudden mustard craving?”

“I don’t know,” Laura admitted, “it just tastes really good and I want it. I’ve even got a bottle on my desk at work and my coworkers were giving me a few weird looks-” She trailed off, a glazed look in her eyes that Carmilla knew meant an idea was forming. 

“Cupcake?”

Laura took off across the living room, practically slamming into a wall as she took the corner to the bathroom. Carmilla leapt after her, “Laura? Laura. What’s wrong?”  
She got a shout back, “When was the last fertility treatment?”

Carmilla’s heart went straight into her throat and stayed there until she was holding Laura’s hand, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, and staring at six positive pregnancy tests lined up along the sink.

Shellshocked didn’t cover her feelings.

Then, “we’re gonna have a baby.” Laura words were soft. Reverent. Holy.

Her free hand found Laura’s stomach, gently cradling the skin. The tears sprung to her eyes as she looked at Laura, “We’re going to have a baby.”

Laura laughed at her words. A bright, exploding thing that light the room on fire, “We’re going to have a baby!” Then, “we’re going to need way more mustard!”

Carmilla laughed and kissed her, hand never leaving Laura’s belly and the precious gift inside. 

#

The front door hadn’t even shut behind her when Carmilla suddenly had an armful of bouncing Laura Hollis. And then no Laura Hollis. And then arms full of Laura again.  
“Carm! Did you hear the news?” Laura was practically wiggling with excitement, a flush in her cheeks and her eyes lit up with the sparkle that always made Carmilla’s heart flip over. “It’s like the best news all month!”

She grabbed Carmilla and kissed her full on the mouth. So hard and messy that Carmilla barely had time to respond before Laura was pulling back, arms locked around Carmilla’s neck. 

Carmilla wracked her brain, trying to balance Laura in one arm and hang her motorcycle keys on the hook with the other. If she dropped the bag and the mustard broke, she’d just have to go right back out. Carmilla fought to keep her face impassive. She’d clearly forgotten something. Something important. 

Wedding anniversary. No. Birthday. No. Some strange modern holiday. No.

Doctor’s appointment?

She glanced over at the fridge and the tiny ultrasound photo prominently displayed in the center. No. That couldn’t be it. They’d just had one.

She had no idea. 

Still, she couldn’t disappoint the smiling girl in front of her. “Of course I did cutie,” Carmilla purred, her arms wrapping around Laura’s waist “But I’d rather hear it from you.”  
Laura rolled her eyes but her smile never died as she kissed Carmilla on the nose and then broke away, grabbing the keys that Carmilla still hadn’t been able to hang successfully on the hook and popping them in place. “You don’t have to pretend for me, Carm. I know you don’t really care one way or the other but I just cannot believe that it’s a girl. I mean, I was hoping but I never thought it would actually happen and I just couldn’t stop smiling when I heard. Like, I think my face is going to split in two because it’s so great for feminism although it would have been nice to see some poc too because-”

Carmilla’s brain crashed to a halt halfway through Laura’s ramble.

“It’s a girl?” Carmilla could barely breath the words. Laura was still talking but Carmilla couldn’t focus on her words.

She stepped forward almost involuntarily, capturing Laura and pressing a hand against her stomach. The smallest curve against her palm where only days before the doctor had taken an ultrasound of the newest member of their family.

“I thought,” Carmilla couldn’t take her eyes off Laura’s stomach, “we were going to make it a surprise.”

Still. A daughter. Taylor. They’d decided. The thought filled her mind, unable to be shaken once the idea was in her head. 

“Did the Doctor call?” Carmilla continued, “or did Laf sneak in and run those tests they’ve been trying to get us to let them do?”  
It’s a girl. It’s a girl. It’s a girl. Laura’s words rebounded through her head.

“It’s a girl?” Carmilla repeated. 

She only noticed when Laura stopped talking. Then two hands came up and cupped her face, the wedding band cool against her skin. Laura was still smiling but her smile was tinged with amusement, “Um, Carm? You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

Carmilla kept her hands on Laura’s belly, “You said the baby’s a girl.”

Laura looked like she was biting back laughter, “I wasn’t talking about the baby, Carm. We agreed that was going to be a surprise. Plus the whole gender conformity thing. I wouldn’t do it without you.”

Carmilla frowned, “Then what were you talking about.”

“Um,” Laura blushed but was still practically bouncing on her toes, “The new doctor? Doctor 13 from Doctor Who? It’s going to be played by a girl this time! Jodie Whittaker. I’m so excited.”

Her eyes sparkled, face lighting up at the announcement.

Carmilla groaned, sinking back against the wall with a hand on her face, “You’re killing me, Mrs Karnstein. Absolutely killing me.”

“You love it,” Laura leaned in, pressing against Carmilla.”Although now that you’ve brought it up, how do you feel about the name Jodie?”

Carmilla closed her eyes, shook her head, and smiled. 

#

Carmilla woke up a second before Laura poked her. It was reflex at this point, muscle memory from a body that was slowly resigning itself to the upcoming years without sleep. Still, she kept her eyes closed and face buried in the pillow, praying she was wrong.

She wasn’t wrong.

The softest hand reached out and poked just below her rib, “Carm?”

She mumbled some kind of response. It didn’t matter what. More of a signifier that she was awake and a prayer that maybe the request would be something simple this time. Preferably something in the house.

“I want pancakes.”

Carmilla groaned into the pillow. Of course she did. Still, Carmilla turned her head to the side and flopped her hand out until Laura captured it in her own. Carmilla’s wife was lying beside her, silhouetted by the light of the moon with bright hopeful eyes that had just a hint of apology in them. She gave Carmilla a small smile, “Denny’s pancakes.”

Carmilla let her eyes flutter shut but Laura just took her hand and rested it on top of the hard curve that was Laura’s abdomen. Using Carmilla’s hand, she ran circles over the tight flesh.

“Caaaaaaarm,” Laura called, “we’re hungry.”

“You’re always hungry,” Carmilla mumbled. 

“But we need it! Right now!” Laura’s voice took on a bit of a desperate edge.

As if on cue, there was a tiny kick against the palm of Carmilla’s warm hand. 

Carmilla’s eyes popped back open, her thumb rubbing softly against the spot where the baby had kicked. With one last groan, she pushed herself up to kiss Laura’s cheek then rolled out of bed to walk around to the other side and help Laura actually get out of bed. 

The blinking light of the clock said 3am. 

As the florescent lights of the Denny’s accosted her eyes, Carmilla clung tighter to the mug of instant coffee in her hand. Hot and bitter. A recent addition to the household after Laura’s 4am craving incident had coincided with Carmilla staying up until 2am teaching a class. There had been words and a fight and Carmilla had quickly discovered that the only thing worse than an angry Laura Hollis was an angry pregnant Laura Hollis. 

Now, she’d just given up on sleep and clung to the mug. 

She stumbled her way into a booth as Laura gazed through the menu. Her words flowed at hundred beats a minute but Carmilla could do nothing but nod and try not to tip over in the booth. 

Vampires and 3am pancakes ones were one thing but the now very human Carmilla Karnstein needed her sleep. 

If anyone else had tried to rouse her at this hour, she would have bit them on reflex. 

But a glowing Laura Hollis talking about pancakes at 3am still somehow managed to bring the smallest smile to her lips as she choked down the horrid coffee substitution. A waitress appeared as if by magic and before she could even say a word, pen suspended in the air and gum popping her mouth, Carmilla growled, “Coffee. Real coffee. Right now.”

The waitress went pale and Carmilla tried not to feel proud about that. 

She turned very quickly to Laura and Carmilla braced herself. Laura’s smile looked normal enough but 3am had proven otherwise before. “Hi,” Laura’s smile was sunny, “I’ll have the pancakes please. Quick as you can!”

The waitress went to move away, “Wait!” Laura called after, eyes going wide, “Can I get nacho cheese and mustard on there with them? Still the syrup and whipped cream but cheese too?”  
The waitress blinked but Laura was just getting started. 

“Oh and hashbrowns!” Laura chirped, “Maybe hashbrowns with mustard and some. No. That’s not. Something sweeter. Hashbrowns with mustard and chocolate? Do you have chocolate sauce?”

The waitress just nodded, eyes a little wide. 

“Great!” Laura kept going, “So chocolate sauce and hashbrowns with nacho cheese pancakes, mustard obviously, and maybe,” she scanned the menu and her eyes suddenly sparkled, “Chocolate ice cream! Yes! That’s it. Chocolate ice cream with nacho cheese on pancakes please.”

“And the hashbrown?” Carmilla prompted over the top of her coffee. Laura had forgotten to order pepperoni once and it had devolved into 2am tears at a pizzeria that they could never go back to.

Laura considered, a hand rubbing her pregnant belly, “No hashbrowns. Just the pancakes, cheese, mustard, and ice cream.”

The waitress was still standing there, pen unmoving as Laura smiled at her. 

She spoke at last, “We don’t, um, serve ice cream right now.”

Laura’s lip went out and her eyes went wide. She glanced down, rubbing her belly again. “Oh.” Where the world had once been wobbly and sleep-filled, Carmilla found that it had gone perfectly back in ultra-high def. 

Carmilla put the coffee mug down. The delicate clink somehow seemed to echo through the diner.

Her best glare was on her face. The waitress took one look at her and paled further. 

Ten minutes later, Laura was happily mowing her way through a pile of pancakes coated in nacho cheese, chocolate ice cream, and mustard as Carmilla gulped down an actual coffee.

When the plate had been demolished, the waitress thoroughly tipped, and Laura helped back to her feet, Carmilla found herself stopped in the doorway of the restaurant. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead. 

Laura reached out and swept her hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. “Thank you,” she whispered, leaning in and giving Carmilla long kiss. Then she practically skipped back to the car as the moon watched overhead, talking to their unborn baby. 

Carmilla licked her lips and smiled; they tasted like mustard and chocolate ice cream. 

The most unexpected tastes were worth waking up for. Every time. 

#

Instead of the usual poke, a hard and persistent shaking roused Carmilla from her sleep. She groaned, rolling her face into the pillow and then out of bed entirely. After nine months she’d learned it was best to just get the awful part of actually getting up out of the way entirely. 

“Alright,” She popped her spine, eyes still closed, “I’ve went grocery shopping yesterday and I’ve got a fresh tub of mustard in the fridge, pickles, pancake batter, ice cream without nuts, three poptarts, cold pizza with peanut butter, sardines, blood sausage, saurkraut, actual sticks of cinnamon and not just powder, chunked but not cubed ice, and enough oil to deep fry literally anything. What am I making, cupcake?”

When there was no reply, Carmilla’s eyes popped open the frown immediately on her face. “Laura?”

Laura’s hand sat where Carmilla had been lying. She held the other in front of her face, staring at it as it glinted in the moonlight. Glinted. Carmilla’s heart stopped. Her hands was wet.

“I think my water broke,” Laura whispered. 

“Right.” Carmilla’s feet were frozen, “We should. Well. Go. Do. Something.”

It was the fear on Laura’s face that had everything snapping back into place. Carmilla unfroze to cradle Laura’s face in her hands and kiss her gently on her forehead. Then her lips.

“It’s going to be okay, cupcake.” She brushed Laura’s hair off her face, “We’re having a baby.”

Laura’s eyes came back into focus at the words. A repeated breath of words, “we’re having a baby.”

And they did. 

Hours later, sweating and tired and with an actual cramp in her hand from where Laura had basically crushed her fingers, Carmilla couldn’t help but gape. Gape as a squirming baby boy was placed in Laura’s arms and wrapped in the soft yellow blanket that Carmilla had picked up specially.

The hours in delivery didn’t matter. The pain and screams didn’t matter. 

Carmilla’s heart melted as Laura coo’d down at their son, smiling so hard that her hands were shaking as she kissed him on the forehead. “Hey Taylor,” she said, “hey. Hi. I’ve been so excited to meet you and see you.”

A tiny fist punched free of the blanket to land on Laura’s nose, grasping on reflex.

Laura burst into soft tears and cuddled him closer. Carmilla kissed Laura on the temple, her other hand on the squirming bundle, “He’s beautiful, cupcake.”

“You should hold him too,” Laura sniffled, “I’m scared I’m going to drop him. He’s so tiny. And he won’t stop moving.”

“You won’t drop him,” Carmilla said, wiping a tear from Laura’s face, “and he’s just tiny and squirmy because he takes after his mom.”

Laura laughed, her head falling onto Carmilla’s shoulder, “Got your hair though.”

Carmilla caressed the dark fuzz already present on Taylor’s head before accepting the entire bundle as Laura pressed him into her arms. 

She stared down at him in awe for moment then, as she looked at her child, all wrapped up in his yellow blanket and staring back up at her, inspiration struck. “Hey little mustard seed,” she said, “I’m your mom and that’s your other mom and we want you to know that we already love you. So so much.”

“Carm,” Laura was crying again, “That was so sweet but you can’t nickname our kid mustard seed.”

Carmilla shook her head, smiling, “It’s not my fault you ate so much mustard. He’s probably made of it,” she put an emphasis on the final work, “cupcake.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

It was. 

But that was the point of family.

**Author's Note:**

> As someone's whose parents never ever call her by her real name or any consistent nickname, mustard seed wouldn't even make me blink :)
> 
> I wish you all the best weekend! This first week has been absolutely mind blowing in the best way and I was so worried that you all were going to be sick of me and have no interest in any further stories. So thank you for coming back. Thank you for making me smile with your kudos, comments, and hellos on  
> [ my tumblr](http://ariabauer.tumblr.com/). You're all just the best.


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